Baby Bump Story Time.

So... we haven't posted anything on this thing for a VERY long time. I know. But I have an extremely good excuse.

WE GOT PREGNANT!

And I got sick. This blog, and everything else in our lives had to take a back seat to this whirlwind of craziness that has been our life the last few months. Pregnancy has been nothing like the beautiful experience I've been waiting for my whole life. I already love and adore this little baby, but I hate pregnancy. I spent a lot (and I mean a lot) of time feeling guilty about not liking pregnancy, but after talking to other women I realize that's just how it is for me. It's miserable, but so worth the miracle.

At first I was the happiest I have ever been. Chris and I were beside ourselves with giddiness! Then my life came crashing to a halt. At first I was just nauseous often. Then everything started making me gag. Every smell had me covering my mouth. Even the good ones! They were way too strong. Almost every food sounded awful, and almost every food smelt awful.  Kissing/hugging/being near Chris became a thing of the past. That was probably the hardest thing! Working at a middle school became completely unrealistic. I could barely breath in there! I wish I could have seen what I looked like walking down the crowded hallways. Hands covering my mouth. Watery eyes. Miserable. I couldn't do it anymore, so I left. Luckily my job and benefits are secure through FMLA, but taking the income cut was immediately tough on our budget. 

I don't remember the timeline super clearly, but it seems like as soon as I left work I hit rock bottom. All of a sudden I couldn't keep anything down. Food, water, air... It all was coming right back up. I've never had food poisoning myself, but it felt like I had 2 months of poison! Eventually I was so dehydrated that an ER visit was inevitable. When that didn't break the cycle, my doctor decided to put my on home care so that I could get IVs at home. Three nurses came the first night trying to get a line in my arm, but my veins were too dry. No luck. Day two, no luck. The next day we drove out to a clinic with the technology to find a deeper vein with an ultrasound machine. They put a midline in my upper arm that would be my little friend for the next month. 

Chris hooked my up for IVs once or twice a day, and I started feeling more hydrated, but I still couldn't keep anything down for weeks. I lost 20-25 lbs all together. I was looking pretty bad. The worst part was my hair. It made me gag just to think about. Weird huh! I've yet to hear of another person with this problem. It sat in a bun on top of my head for, I kid you not, 2 months. I was lovely. I couldn't lift anything over 10 lbs with the midline in, so I became really weak in every sense of the word. I'm still not back to normal. I was in a pretty dark place. I was stuck in bed and my apartment started to feel like a dungeon. I wanted out so badly. I definitely experienced a little depression, and I think Chris did too. It was ridiculously hard on both of us.

I got the midline out about 3 weeks ago, and have been doing amazingly better since then. I still get sick, but I haven't thrown up in weeks! That's such a huge blessing. I'm not back to work and I've only been to church a few times, but I'm on the mend. Chris and I couldn't be happier. Finally I can think about the happy future of welcoming a sweet angel into our home. It was hard to be excited about anything when I was so depressed and sick, but now I'm excited all the time. Even during my sick days. 

I'm 20 weeks along. Half way! I still can't believe that! I feel like I was hibernating and missed so much! It's great to be back in the world and to be able to let Chris have his life back. His life was full of taking care of me 24/7. I was completely useless! I can't imagine how hard it was for him and I can't thank him enough. 

We are more than a little excited to welcome our little GIRL into the world. Due Oct 12. We already love her with our whole hearts! =) She is still nameless. I think I'll be the pickiest name giver ever. Nothing seems good enough for her! She is such a source of strength in my life already. I don't really feel her moving yet, at least not that I can tell, but I can feel her in there. Her sweet spirit helps me through the bad days. I love our little Angel!

I'm bigger than this now! More bellie pics coming soon.